My work week was such a joke that I laughed until I cried.
Friday 8 AM: Spec released. Full of exciting and interesting features. Feeling really excited to brainstorm, collaborate, organize, and think.
Friday 9 AM: Meet with favorite co-worker to think and brainstorm and be excited about new spec.
Friday 10:30 AM: excitedly present our ideas to boss hoping he will discuss and brainstorm and plan with us. Boss announces, “I am hungry.” Boss leaves and does not speak to me directly or about new spec for the next 7 days. (Consider anonymously emailing boss this article, Why not let people use their intelligence, posted on Slow Leadership Oct. 26 – decide against it.)
Weekend: So glad I’m not at work. Since ability to plan, organize, and be productive completely squelched during the week-days, take trip to Target to purchase new and exciting cleaning tools. Work up plan for quick and easy cleaning of house. House spotless. Sense of accomplishment makes me giddy. Hubby and I become addicted to the TV show Lost (rented season 1). Notice this post about how people dread going to work and it ruins their Sundays by Chief Happiness Officer. Makes me think our world is pathetic. Go back to wishing I were Lost, ’cause then I wouldn’t have to go to work tomorrow.
Monday: Friend needs help. I volunteer. Would rather change baby diapers than go to work. Make fabulous Mr. Pumpkin Head for Halloween with Godson. Maybe I should go into some sort of pumpkin-related business (childcare too hard).
Tuesday: Take Back your Time Day. We take the day off. Spend gloriously relaxing day with Hubby.
Wednesday: Feel refreshed. Looking forward to going into work. Arrive at work. No emails. Boss ignores me, doesn’t check in with me or speak to me all day. Task list empty. Am informed by second favorite co-worker that aboslutely nothing happened while I was gone – except for major thumb-twiddling. Leave work slightly discouraged.
Thursday: Team meeting. Some improvement. Asked boss if he would be willing to schedule meetings instead of randomly call them. Also requested people show up for meetings and if possible, when they do show up not half an hour late. Boss actually scheduled the meeting. Everyone actually showed up on time. I tried to lay low during meeting. Don’t rock boat, don’t criticize. Boss takes anything I say personally, so am trying not to talk at all. Boss stares at me whole meeting. When co-worker next to me rocks boat – boss addresses me, by name, and gets defensive. Note to self: next meeting try not breathing or perhaps wear bag over head. Hubby suggests I purchase special meeting veil that is black lace and I wear it over face during meetings – claim it is part of my new religion.
Friday: After week of trying to break-down new spec into tasks, get started on research and set-up, boss still apparently out eating ’cause still hasn’t responded to new spec ideas since last Friday when he claimed he was hungry. Boss out of office for day but sends email. Wants me to update my task list. UPDATE MY TASK LIST – WITH WHAT? HE’S STILL OUT EATING LUNCH FROM LAST WEEK, HASN’T GIVEN ME MY TASKS YET. Considered returning email by saying “I’m hungry – will do this once I’m full,” then never doing it. Decided that is probably why boss doesn’t like me. Instead did my best to update task list and ask engineers if any of new spec is ready for testing. Lead engineer makes jokes; tells me he doesn’t know who is working on new features or what goes in builds. I say, I thought he was the lead and knew this stuff. He responds that he is, but nobody will speak to him, so he doesn’t know anything. Send questions to head of development. Head of development forwards my questions to lead engineer who nobody talks to; copies me on email. I sit at desk for an hour, catatonic from the complete absurdity of situation. Nobody notices my hour long paralysis and drool dripping off my chin. Send new spec questions to head of development requesting that somebody tell QA what is new in today’s build ’cause I have to give my boss a task list and I don’t even know what there is to work on. Head of development comes to my desk and tells me he didn’t read my email ’cause of his ADD but did this thing earlier on the wiki and did it address my needs. I say “yes” because I have now given up. I update task list with this task “working on random things.” Then I proceed to try to do constructive work, but so is favorite co-worker and we end up entering same bugs at same time in duplicate. Decide better use of time would be to go home, tidy up the house with new cleaning tools to achieve sense of accomplishment for day, lay on couch, watch All My Children and Oprah. Bill O’Reily on Oprah. Listening to him is actually less frustrating than being at work.