The Amsterdam consists of gin, Cointreau, and Mandarin orange juice (I used fresh, of course). Just shake-it and pour without straining. (This is much like my visit to Amersterdam – shake it without restraint.) Then garnish with some Mandarin orange slices.

The Lady Killer is composed of gin, Cointreau, apricot brandy, passion fruit juice and pineapple juice. It is shaken and strained into a tumbler with ice. My first round of these, I forgot the Cointreau. Still delicious. Hubby was making crazed slurping sounds with his straw trying to get every last drop. I made another round and remembered the Cointreau this time. It tasted maybe a little better, but not much different. Hubby felt it was more balanced. Again he slurped very loudly, so I made another round. This time, I accidentally added twice the amount of gin. We didn’t care, we slurped. The next round was made by hubby. I don’t remember how it tasted, though I can guess it was good. Needless to say, the Lady Killer can produce a killer headache! But that is the risk I accepted when I embarked on this bold mixology experiment.

The Gin Smash

I made this drink the last day of my job with the boss who found me “wearing.” (I know, I know, which job is that…you can’t keep track. It is the last job I held…the one before my current job.) This drink is simply fresh mint leaves muddled in sugar syrup with a couple measures gin poured on top. It is shaken and served over ice. I’m usually not a big fan of mint, but I really loved this drink. (Hubby didn’t like it too much.) It would be so nice on a summer’s day! I felt it was appropo because it was a very fresh drink to imbibe on the eve of my ‘fresh start’ in a new job.

The Leap Year

Yet another yummilicios drink invented by Harry Craddock at the Savoy Hotel London. This drink consists of gin (duh!), Grand Marnier, Sweet Red Vermouth, dash of lemon and a bit of lemon rind. It is shaken and served in a martini glass. It is YUMMY YUMMY YUMMMMMEEEE!

Gin Rickey

Lucccceeeeyyyy, I’m hoooome!!! That is what Hubby and I were yelling at the cats in our best Latin accents after drinking this little doosie. A Rickey is actually a standard way of serving all the major spirits. It has lime, soda water, and in this case, gin (duh!).

Gin Crusta

Sugar crystals glitter on the rim of a fancy glass (like a champagne glass) for this drink which contains sugar syrup, marachino cherry juice, angostura bitters, and gin. Hubby had to change into his Fancy Pants to drink this cocktail.

Monkey Gland

This drink (IMO) was pretty much as nasty as its name implies. If you like licorice flavor, then you’ll probably disagree with me. This cocktail is composed of gin (duh!), orange juice (use fresh, not Sunny-D!!!), grenadine, and absinthe. When I went to buy absinthe at the liquor store, I couldn’t find it. I asked the man behind the counter and he haughtily replied, “That is illegal here!” “But, I know I’ve seen it around, in a box, with a picture of Van Gogh on it!!” I replied, confused and breathless. “Oh, well, we have fake absinthe,” said Mr. Snotty Liquor Store Guy. If you are interested in why real Absinthe is illegal (and what it has in common with one of the many Harry Potter controversies) read this website. And beware of the Green Fairy!!!! She’s a wiley one!

This drink is named for Tod Sloan a jockey during the late 1800′s and early 1900′s. Perhaps the best known horse ridden by Tod Sloan is Hamburg pictured above. tell you this because I really can’t think of much more to write about for this drink. I don’t know what the deal is with the connection between gin cocktails and horses (see previous post on the Horse’s Neck), but I like horses so I’m all for it. If you want more reading that is set in the backdrop of the horseracing world – you can’t beat the mysteries written by Dick Francis. Sitting on a lounge chair in the back yard on a sunny day, reading your Dick Francis novel and sipping a Tod’s Cooler is a fine way to pass the time! (Alternately, sitting in your leather high-backed chair, wearing your smoking jacket (a.k.a. bathrobe), next to a pleasantly glowing fireplace, sipping a Tod’s Cooler, Dick Francis book in hand is also a fine way to pass the time.)

Diagnosis: Like Tod Sloan’s career this drink is spectacular and short lived, leading immediately to the question: May I please have another?

If you want to meet this lady shake 1/2 measure lemon juice, 1/2 measure Cointreau, 1 measure gin with ice. Decant into a cocktail glass.

Diagnosis: The drink is as beautiful and mystifying as the lady herself.

The Perfect Lady: The perfect lady is a measure of gin, 1/2 measure of peach brandy, and 1/2 measure of lemon juice shaken with ice then decanted into a cocktail glass. (Add egg white to the mix if you want the more traditional foaminess.)

Why is this lady perfect, you ask? Well, she is elegant, not too young and not too old – as there is still a blush in her cheeks. She appears refined but once you get to know her you’ll find that she has quite a kick!

Diagnosis: Basically, if a cocktail has the word ‘lady’ in it – it will be delicious. The White Lady was favoured over The Perfect Lady by Hubby, but he wouldn’t turn the Perfect Lady away (obviously, as he is married to me! Ha!)

Diagnosis: refreshing. A little boring after all the drinks I’ve made so far.

Note: Did you notice definition 5 of “cobbler?” It is “mummichog.” I looked up mummichog and it is apparently some sort of brackish water fish. Now that is an interesting sounding drink – The Gin Mummichog. Once I’ve learned how to mix all these drinks and start making up my own, I think I’ll give this one a try.

Want gin for dessert? Then this is the drink for you!

The night before, drop a raspberry and a small edible flower (like pansies – you can buy these in the produce section at Whole Foods) in an ice tray. Fill the tray with water. Freeze. Put a scoop of high quality lemon sorbet in a goblet, drop a couple of the cubes in, pour a couple measures gin over the top, and top off with a little soda water. Diagnosis: Delicious! Hubby’s gin lips were frozen in a delighted grin.

My Fair Lady is also my most favorite musical of all time!

The drink itself consists of gin, Crème de Frais, lemon juice, orange juice, and the ever so foamy egg white. It is a beautiful pink drink that looks very classy served in a martini glass. It’s appearance is quite ladylike – but its taste packs quite a punch – showing that mean old Henry Higgans that a woman can be more like a man. A strong man dressed in pink!

My Fair Lady also has a quote in it that involves gin and small talk. In a nutshell, Professor Higgins has made a bet that he can turn Eliza, a common flower girl, into a lady who can be mistaken for British royalty. Mean old Higgins has been coaching Eliza for awhile and they’ve decided to take her for a test run at his Mom’s box at the horse races. Eliza, a colorful girl to say the least, has been instructed to stick to conversation about the weather and her health. Needless to say, Eliza goes a little overboard on a health topic and tells this story:

My aunt died of influenza – so they said, but it’s my belief they done the old woman in…Yes, Lord love you. Why should she die of influenza when she come through diptheria right enough the year before? Fairly blue with it, she was. They all thought she was dead, but my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat…Then she come to so sudden she bit the bowl off the spoon…Now what call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza? And what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it, and what I say is, them as pinched it done her in…Them she lived with would have killed her for a hat pin, let alone a hat…Gin was mother’s milk to her. Besides, he’d poured so much down his own throat, he knew the good of it…Drank! My word! Something chronic!

Freddie, a guest in the box at the races who is quite taken with Eliza, refers to her gin speech as “The New Small Talk.” This proves, yet again, what we already know – the best thing for small talk is gin, and the second best thing is a story about gin! If you tell your gin story with the proper accent and wear fancy clothes – you might even be mistaken for British royalty!

The Horse’s Neck is a great family time drink. You can create Pony’s Necks (I made that up) for the kids with lemonade mixed with a spash of ginger ale. Serve in high-ball glasses with the same garnish. Just don’t get your drinks mixed up with theirs!

Next gather round the living room each night and read a classic ‘horse’ book together as you sip your Horse’s Necks.

Here is a short list of some of my favorite horse books:

Misty of Chincoteague by Marguerite Henry

King of the Wind by Marguerite Henry

Brighty: Of the Grand Canyon by Marguerite Henry (I had no idea until now that all of my favorite books as a 8-9 year old were written by the same person! I’ll never ever forget Brighty. I still remember exactly where I was when I finished reading this book. I was in school. I sat front row, center, facing The Flag. It was reading time, and I remember closing the book and staring at the flag fixedly in an attempt to keep from sobbing my heart out. I love you Brighty!) 

Black Beauty by Anna Sewell

Horse Heaven by Jane Smiley – For a little more adult reading material. It is a lengthy book, but totally worth it!

Since the gimlet was supposedly invented by the British Royal Navy you may want to work on your jack slang for the next time you drink a gimlet with your mates. I worked up this statement which requires two people other than myself to be present at cocktail hour:

“Hey oppo. Keep this oxygen thief from going gulpers on my Gimlet while I go for a swamp!”

This is the most complicated drink with the most exotic ingredients I’ve made so far.

Because this drink involves grenadine, I decide that more whimsical attire would be good for tonight’s cocktail hour. I donn my ‘yummy sushi pajamas’ (like the ones in Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode 70 “Goodbye Iowa” only mine are wasabi green and Buffy’s are white).

To me grenadine means party. So far, all the cocktails I’ve made have been classic, savory, and sophisticated. These are cocktails you drink after work with the boss or an old friend. You might drink these in your home library, stacked with leather-bound books, while entertaining a VIP. Grenadine laden cocktails, however, bring up images of tiki bars, colorful tafetta dresses, smoky, jazz-filled lounges where people dance wildly. To me grenadine screams “yummy sushi pajamas.”

So, I’ve got the PJ’s on. I’ve got all the ingredients in the shaker – the gin, the grenadine, the lemon juice, the raw egg white (!!!!!), the ice.

Now, my shaker is a classic silver shaker. I believe it is real silver, because as I’ve mentioned, it is tarnished in a way that only real silver can become tarnished. This means that the shaker gets very very cold. This drink in particular requires at least 30 seconds of shaking to make sure the raw egg white (!!!!!) is incorporated fully and the drink is foamy. Because the shaker gets so cold, I’ve taken to wearing bright pink, cotton lined, rubber gloves that go up to my elbows when I mix drinks. These are technically my hot-pepper chopping gloves (purchased after the poblano chile incident) but they work very well for keeping my hands from freezing when shaking drinks.

Additionally, I’d like to add that the cats really do NOT like the shaker. I’ve found it to be quite fun to chase the cats around the house while shaking drinks.

So, with all that in mind, I chase the cat into the living room while shaking the Clover Clubs. Hubby is sitting on the couch. I am wearing my wasabi green ‘yummy sushi pajamas’ and a single hot-pink rubber glove on my left hand (I am right-handed, so choosing to do the shaking with my left hand only is a strange and somewhat unfortunate choice). I race into the room, the cat dives under the cedar chest, the shaker (which is now covered with condensation) slips from my gloved left hand, the lid on the shaker flies off, the shaker arcs across my front, the grenadine and raw egg white (!!!!!) wash over me in a bright pink wave, the carpet is soggy with syrupy clover club, the yummy sushi pajamas are no longer wasabi green – they are genadine pink. I run down to the basesment, pajamas dripping, I suck on my arm – the yummy sushi pajamas are actually pretty yummy. If we ever get to drink the clover club, it’s gonna’ be tasty!

I strip off the PJs. I pour Tide Free liquid detergent right onto the grenadine stains on the PJs and leave them to soak. I put on my smoking jacket (formerly known as my fuzzy blue bathrobe) and head back upstairs to make more cocktails. The show must go on, after all! I find Hubby on his hands and knees in the living room, scrubbing the carpet. I think I see a single tear slide down his cheek and hear him mournfully whisper a lament about wasted gin.
Alas, I am out of lemons!!! We are forced to skip to the next drink, a savory, smokey, sophisticated drink, which works out ok since I am now wearing my fuzzy bathrobe.

The next evening I did make the Clover Clubs without incident. I wore both rubber gloves, used two hands to shake, and did the shaking over the kitchen sink.
Diagnosis: Delicious and pretty, although the idea of the raw egg white (!!!!!) was constantly on my mind. Next time I may try out some Fee Foam to see if it works well as a raw egg white (!!!!!) replacement.